Smile.

(added later because we did not post this for a reflection and meditation but rather the November 24 entry but want to add it because while it is true that Father isn't speaking and mostly it's Barbara's experienc, it is still important for the context of the dialogue that it was the journal entry that proceeded November 24 of 1996..


November 17, 1996:
Dearest Father:
During Communion today I kept focusing on the Tabernacle (without being consciously aware of it). And You ...(took me)... to an old, slanted Medieval copying desk at the bend of a country dirt road in the woods, late Fall, all alone. And You told me this was my post and I was to sit here for pilgrims on their journey. I was stationary. You said there were others like me—spread out on the journey path, but that I would meet only pilgrims. And I was supposed to cheer them on, root them on (like in a marathon), telling them that You are REAL!!! And helping them get to know You. That’s my job—to testify in Your behalf. I didn’t get a sense today if anyone else 

will come to keep me company. The Father said He would be with me, and this would be lonely and isolating. I guess I must man my post and guard the road and encourage people. There is a light [lamp] on the top of my desk. The Father said He would give me everything I need for my job. After experiencing all this, I realized I had been staring right at the Tabernacle (for quite awhile). This was directly after Communion. So that’s how I must think about it—I’m on my post on the journey, encouraging, comforting, convincing, giving support. Thank You, God. Have mercy on me. I love You—totally.
[Some time ago, our Father also told me I was on watch at a post overlooking “Jerusalem.” And I was to write down all the effects of man’s culture... This is a different, new post. But again, I’m watching and guarding. This time I’m not only to document but interact with the pilgrims—stir the pilgrims to belief. But I do not go to them. They come to me.]   )



November 24, 1996:


Dearest Papa:


I am almost finished with Your Consecration book—so much has come to me (inspired I’m sure because I would have no way of knowing) about David and the lyre (8-stringed instrument and the 6th Psalm). Today at Communion (Feast of Christ the King), I asked You to give me direction and You said listen to the words and then the song started (Domini Deus Pater) and I thought I would fly right out of the Church!


My art work (for the medal) is not good, but I put down what I see. The other night Mary, my Mother, took me to a pond and a sword rose up and broke the surface and then melted like quicksilver and was gathered up into a visage of You with Your arms opened wide and I understood that Your Mercy would come from Your Sword of Justice. What now, O Lord?


To the heights and the depths, I take you, daughter. You are tired now. No more work. This is the hardest part— [writing] the prayers. Get sleep and I will dance through your mind the images I wish in the prayers.


David (King David) is no small part of this effort. He guides you to what was once lost—innocence and purity. Let him guide you in your quest. Remembrance of roses and wood and the lyre. Each has its function in restoring what was lost. The lyre is made of the Tree and the rosebush is intertwined.


Now go to bed and all will be well. I am with you as you know. The pain will intensify but in its birth, its wake, will come much good. First fruits—remember this. First fruits to the Lord. I am your God—Your only One. Your hands will tell the story. That’s why they feel “heavy,” pressured—by My Spirit. Pick up your cross. Tomorrow is important beyond your belief. Sleep, child, and be thankful. The joy of the Lord is in you and without you—in your suffering. Be glad! I am with you. Smile.


The lights. The lights will guide you. Find the answer. Look in my Holy Books. “Pinpoint,” the answer. THE QUILL DIPPED IN THE INK OF MY SON’S BLOOD WILL SOON WRITE THE LAST CHAPTER OF MAN’S HISTORY. HOW WILL IT END? THAT IS YET TO BE TOLD BY MY CHILDREN’S RESPONSE. ... Pick up the gauntlet and the Cross. Follow David, Jesus will lead you.

...................

Bromar 4. Reflection


I find it interesting, even somewhat funny, that He tells her that she is tired, and to go to bed, and to go to sleep twice.  Apparently, she is a bit anxious about finishing, feeling the weight of the task that is asked of her.  Father has to assure her all is well, insists she gets some much needed rest and even tells her to smile.


Often when something is important to us, we feel the weight of the responsibility, especially if the task is given to us by God Himself.  But when this causes an anxiety, a restlessness, fear, loss of sleep, inability to stop problem solving, there is a problem, and it is one of perspective.  Fr. Thomas Dubay, once said that the saints always had perspective.  Proper perspective allows us to maintain our peace, and a calmness, to think clearly, to act decisively and with confidence.  When we feel that type of weight that is debilitating, in some way we have consented to the lie that we are on our own without help, that we have ultimate responsibility for the outcome of a circumstance.  Which is never really true.  There are always others that are involved and variables which we can’t control.  And there is God, who allows and who we also can’t control. With so much that is out of our hands, how is that we can so easily accept guilt and blame as if everything depended on us?  And where do we see God in all of this? And why do we sometimes wait to seek from God until we find that there is something we just can’t do on our own?


Perspective.  God is not just with us but in us.  And in a way that we can’t kick Him out. It is true that we lose sanctifying grace when in mortal sin, but repentance is an act of the Holy Spirit, so how could we repent without Him? We are never alone and never without help. God is all powerful and all knowing and all Love, so how can anything ever be hopeless?  We would never place a child in a situation that he didn't have the capacity to deal with unless we were going to be with him every step of the way to ensure his safety and good and could make up for his mistakes. How could we think less of God the Father as a parent than we would be?