CHAPTER ONE
THE SEED IS PLANTED
" I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and learned you have revealed them to the childlike. Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will" ( Mt. 11:25-26)
August 15, 1996:
Lord:
How long have I written to You? … What do I do, Lord? What do you want from me, Father?
My Dearest Daughter:
Though it may seem that you are alone and abandoned, you are not. The best is yet to come. I have plans for you—GREAT PLANS. Demonstrate your trust by coming to Me in faith, trust, and humility. There is no shame in this. Only a wealth of graces—graces, unbound and untethered. That is what grieves you, is that you must let go of the ground beneath you and come to Me in trust. I will catch you in My Arms—and never leave you—because you are Mine. Delivered to Me by My Son and Your Mother—to do My Will. There is no escape from this, daughter. My Will. Embrace it and do not let it frighten you. Remember, you are Mine always and forever; you are dear to Me.
Bromar4 reflection
So much here, Amazing! First He assures us that even when we feel we are alone, we are not. He is reminding us that He created us in an integrated way, body, mind and spirit, with all parts made to function together, each doing its part for the whole. He made feelings as an integral part, to allow us to always have a starting point from which understand and discern His will for us. However our feelings are not meant to be our main truth tellers, but only to show us how we are experiencing the moment, in every moment. Therefore, He can say with certainty that even when we feel alone and abandoned, we are not.
When He asks us to demonstrate our trust by coming in faith, trust and humility, and that there is no shame in that, it must mean that most people, since Barbara is representative of most people and that is why she was chosen, experience shame by trusting in what is unseen and can only be proven by faith and seen from a perspective of humility, a place of what I know pales in comparison to You my God.
Our society heaps shame on those who are not self reliant, who would seek to live in a dependent relationship with God. But does not scripture say, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own understanding, rely not...Prov.3;5-6. Does it not say, Cursed is the man who trusts in man...Jer 17;5 ? And why would God our Father create us in His own image and likeness if He did not want us to be in relationship with Him? And why would Jesus leave us the gift of Himself in His own body and blood if He did not want to dwell in us in an intimate way? And why send us His Holy Spirit if not to relate with us and communicate His grace, holiness and will? And why tell us that He wants us to call Him Father unless we are actually His children? And what child is not in a dependent relationship with his parent?
The reason there is no shame in this is because this is how He made us, this is how it works; this is the natural law as a consequence of how He created us to be. It is like having shame for being short or having brown hair. Shame is not created by God, it is the result of the fall and from severity and criticalness being heaped on us by others when we already feel guilty. Guilt is a natural response to having done something wrong, and it serves to spark contrition which spurs us to repentance, which cleanses us from sin and its effects. Shame incites a soul to confusion, to fear, and then to sadness and depression, or denial. None of these things are from the Holy Spirit and therefore not from God but from the adversary who pounces on shame when he sees it.
Trust on the other hand brings a wealth of graces, unbound and untethered. But He tells us that that is what grieves man, to let go of the ground beneath him. Man is grieved at not being in control, at not seeing for himself what lies ahead, at not being the one to ensure the path that he is on is a safe one. But is it reasonable for man to believe that he is better at choosing his own good than God is? Can an imperfect man make better choices than God, for his good and safety? St Joseph, who was a just man would have quietly divorced Our Lady if not for God’s intervention.
He tells us that we were delivered to Him by Jesus and Mary, to do His will. That there is no escape from His will for those who are called to His service. Just ask Jonah, St Paul, St Peter, and so many others. Then He tells us to embrace it and not be afraid of it, because we belong to Him who is God and Father, who created us out of love and can only desire and will our good and to bring us home to Himself to be happy in this life and in eternity.
For many people trust does not come easy, and for many reasons. But if we can trust that a label in a store saying milk is actually milk, or that when a stranger says have a nice day they actually mean it, or that when we ask a stranger for directions and they give us them that they are telling us the truth and they really know the place we are looking for; is it reasonable to not trust God when He as God tells us that He is the truth? I am not downplaying people’s difficulty trusting due to abuse, but if we rationalize what is not reasonable it will come to our ruin.
May our good Father heal us, free us and deliver us from all that keeps us from this trusting relationship with Him, and all that keeps us from realizing and accepting our inheritance as His child.
Pax Et Bonum
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Starjo's reflection:
I recognize a language (from God the Father) that chooses words to (Barbara herself and us through Barbara) to communicate and acknowledge, to encourage a soul who perhaps, even subconsciously, experiences vulnerability, dependency and trust as things that are "frightening" and incur a sense of "shame" to the point of the need to "escape", indicating a more advanced degree of personal woundedness from experiences of betrayal and broken trust. And God our Father first promises her wonderful "great" things for her future to infuse hope in a heart that may open to the invitation of such blessings... and the heart that is offered the invitation begins to open but involuntarily retracts, remembering what others inflicted upon it, which Father understands keenly and begins to address so gently..." I understand, I know, you think if you run into My arms, pain will follow, but know this child, I am the One Who will never leave you, Who will always hold you and catch you with infinite unconditional Love and in Whose arms you cannot be more nurtured, sustained, safe or more protected.
And then the struggle and journey begins, of a life and will in imitation of Mary in union with Jesus of dependency on the one true God our Father.
Home at last.
We embark on this journey into the abode of the Divine Paternal Heart. We will live through the Joyful mysteries, and with our Yes, we will survive and persevere through the Sorrowful mysteries arriving at the promise of Glory, for God and ourselves, having been grafted into the life death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Ave Pater
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